it's interesting how free i feel behind a keyboard, monitor and a pair of cK spectacles. (even though i'm confined to my room and hiding from the god awful kitchen) it's amazing because just a few moments ago, i was sat in a therapists office with my two parents with my and my younger sister waiting in the waiting room.
the discussion has left me rattled.
my father sat next to my mother facing the counsellor and i. i've chosen this seat to make a stand: i am not a force to be reckoned with. i'm facing you head on and i will continue to do so until i admit defeat. god blessed me with stuborness so don't expect much.
in order to gain a relatively advantageous ground to stand on, i decide to start the ball rolling. i explain how through most of my life my parents have been "barrtarring" *cough* black mail! *cough* with me to get me to do things and how a lot of times they say they'll do things but fail to do them.
the counsellor listens as i sound off about how sick i am of this bullshit. and nods. empathetically. like i'm 4.
when my parents talk about how they're just setting "guidelines" and how following their rules is an issue for me she asks "don't you think your parents are just trying to be parents?" and "don't you think you just want more control and that you see your parents as controlling?"![]()
omiword ... you've GOT to be joking!! i thought the first couple times i was being paranoid in thinking she was siding with my parents ..
and now my phone has just said i dont have credit .. however it hadn't told me i had only one minute of credit left (like it normally does) so i'm pissed off!
this is an introduction to me .. my blogs and what to expect .. run now and don't look back
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I'm just dropping by to say that I starved my self for two whole days and the effects were instant! it was amazing tbh.
I'm not anorexic or bulimic, but at the same time i'm not fat and am interested in slimming. I don't really like exercise or vegtables but I find that if you drink coke with salt in it and only eat like 3 dried crackers that your not as bloated as before. The fact that when I discovered this was when I was ill with a vomiting bug might have something to do with my rapid weight loss but trust me; i'm restricting myself big time this year.
A few years ago I struggled a hard break up and I stopped eating lunch, as that was the only meal I had away from my family and I didn't want them to realise I was hurting so badly, but my Mum started to notice how quickly i was shrinking, I've always been fond of snacking and its easy to become addicted to but it has no long term benefits either. I mean how quickly does one wagon wheel become two when you don't care about restrictions and when I stopped eating them & lunch it made a amazing difference.
I'll never be stick thin, but all I really want is a flat stomach.
Emma
xxx
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2008-11-21 @ 12:42